I just keep want to keep writing
What what am i going to say? These words can’t even be processed, only felt.
I should just give up.
I feel stupid. Boys always give the most confusing signs. You never fuckibg know if they like you a lot or not. Or you’re just some girl to play with. Man, I feel for you and it sucks. And here you are laying by me, half asleep. Which makes it ten times harder to leave before I really start to fall. Especially when you wrap yourself around me.
This.
There’s no where else to really put this right now, because my privacy is invaded. But I’m lying here next to this guy. And I think I’m really starting to feel something with him. I feel strongly intense for him. But he doesn’t really show anything… It’s occasional. And I really love it.. It’s adorable. I like the way he put this peppermint under his nose. It’s smells so good. He’s laying here somewhat dozing off. I’ve been spending almost two weeks here, not non stop. It’s different. But I get this give off him, I know its the stress of everything he’s going through, and I know I’ve helped a lot, and shit. He says he feels appreciated, but I just don’t feel it.. I don’t want to seem like an attention bitch, like I feel like I’m annoying him, but what else is he gonna do? Lay around? Damn I just feel like I have so much to say. I honestly feel really bad for his condition and I shouldnt be getting mad about it.. I just.. all I want is for him to like me the way I like him.. Like Bailey. But it seems all he really wants most is.. yeah. I feel like I’m not good enough, but I like you so much.. I don’t know if you really realize. And if you do, I think you should tell me and make it clear to where I stand. Because right now, I am pretty lost. Why do I feel like such an annoyance?? Gah. I know its mostly because you’re just feeling miserable about shit. I understand that, and I shouldn’t be all whining. Idk.. this is just stupid of me. I should really just stop. I need to strain away, get away. Stop seeing him.. before I get too attatched.. idk.. wait a few days, see if he contacts me first. Invites me over. I feel like its all me. See, I’m trying too much.. ugh and I hate that! I don’t want to feel deperate, its just im really into him.. and I have no idea how to acheive this situation. I’m making this stupid. Damnit. I feel like I’m already ruining things. I’ve fun out of words. My mind is lost. Can’t even think right. Everythings a puzzle. And egnima. Whatever that is.
